So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
