I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
