been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
