everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
