brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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