i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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