Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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