your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
How naked do you want me to be?
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