I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
