he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
