doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
