oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
