Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
