It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
