Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
