well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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