the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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