THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
