im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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