Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
