didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
