Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
