hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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