yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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