ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
