This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
