I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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