4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
