so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
