she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize