So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
