I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize