I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
