The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
