..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
