I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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