my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
