Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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