Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
