i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize