Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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