Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
