Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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