Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
