I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize