You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize
