did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
