You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
