Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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