woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
