Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
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