You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Sober January is a disaster.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
