She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
