Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
