shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize