I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
