Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
