Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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