I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
